"The Hidden Story of the Charlottesville Burns Program" by Gus Wilson

The program for the Charlottesville dance was very nice, but you know, there is a story hidden in  the program, and I don’t know what to             make of it.

You see, the Mad Hatter brought many Happy Returns, including Sugar Candie.
One man had so much Sugar Candie he became delirious and slipped over the Falls of Rogie ,
    scaring The Wild Geese at the bottom.
Up above all were saddened, for he who fell was known far and wide as a gudeman – 
   all went home to mourn his demise.
But then sorrow turned to joy when to their surprise,
Hame Came Our Gudeman with the Australian Ladies.
    (When he fell, he really went down under.)
To celebrate all made a Trip to Gretna Green ,
    where they smoked Burns Hornpipe,
    and spent many shillings dining on Moneymusk melon.
After meeting the Society Piper,
    each had a jigger of scotch at the pub named Mrs. Stewarts Jig.
Late that evening arrived the Earl of Northampton,
    who enticed all to end their long day,
    dancing The Reel of the 51^st Division.